


Not Over Yet

by hannahfanficrobron



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Fear, Help, Hospitals, Love, M/M, Stand Together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-26 06:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 14,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7563211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahfanficrobron/pseuds/hannahfanficrobron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the fact I don't think Aaron finding out who shot Robert was really given the attention it deserved last night! That, combined with the idea that Robert could have medical complications resulting from the shooting. I'm making up some of the medical details, so they don't have much basis in truth! Now complete.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Breathless

Robert awoke with a jerk, feeling like he was suffocating. He couldn’t breathe. No, he actually couldn’t _breathe_. He hit Aaron next to him, trying to wake him up as he gasped to try and get air into his burning lungs, feeling as if a pillow was clamped over his mouth.

“What?” Aaron asked grumpily, annoyed at being woken. Then he heard Robert’s gasping and crying out as he literally couldn’t get any air. “Robert, what’s wrong?” Aaron asked, concerned as he switched the bedside lamp on. They both winced at the light, but Robert had more important things to concentrate on, his head feeling dangerously light from lack of air. “Oh, my God, your lips are blue,” Aaron said under his breath, watching his boyfriend thrash on the bed. “I’m calling an ambulance.”

Robert gripped his arm to stop him, the panic fading a little as his lungs slowly filled with sweet air. Almost gulping it in, needing to feel his chest rising and falling, it took a great effort to breathe, but he was now able to do it. “I’m okay…” he said, little more than a whisper. But it was air he’d managed to pull into his chest. It hurt to breath, but he could do it.

“Robert, what’s happening?” Aaron asked, clearly worried to his left. Robert had his eyes closed, jaw hanging open as he kept inhaling the oxygen he’d struggled to get just a few minutes before. It felt beautiful to inhale easily again.

“I couldn’t breathe.”

“I guessed that,” Aaron said sarcastically. “What…. I think we should take you to hospital,” he carried on. ”Not breathing isn’t normal.”

“I’ll go to the doctors in the morning,” Robert said, knowing he needed to. That panic had been real, the edges of complete fear almost pulling him under when he hadn’t been able to breathe.

“Robert…”

“I’m guessing it has something to do with the bullet still in my chest,” Robert said, still taking the time to breathe properly.

“Still in your chest?” Aaron questioned, voice dangerously low.

“They couldn’t get all of it,” Robert said, speaking slowly and heavily, wanting to enjoy the free air in his body. “The bullet fractured off of a rib, and they said it was safer to live with it inside me than try to remove it. Too close to my heart. Apparently taking it out would have killed me.”

“How long have you known that?” Aaron asked quietly.

“Since I woke up in hospital,” Robert said with a shrug. “It didn’t matter.”

“Of course it matters!” Aaron snapped. “Or do you often wake up unable to breathe?”

“No, that’s the first time,” Robert said, staring at the ceiling. He took in several deep breaths, the burning in his right lung fading a little bit. “I do…” Robert took in yet another breath, wondering if he could admit it. “Sometimes when I’ve done some exercise, I can feel my chest pulling. On the right side.”

“I don’t even think I need to ask, but I’m going to,” Aaron said. “Have you seen a doctor about it?”

The silence was answer enough. “Right, I see,” Aaron said, truly annoyed as he got out of bed.

“It’s not my fault, Aaron,” Robert said quietly. “I didn’t ask to get shot.”

“No, but you could have seen someone,” Aaron said, pacing around the room, though Robert didn’t think he was entirely aware he was doing it.

“When did people badgering _you_ ever help?” Robert asked, his fear making his temper short. “I will go in the morning.”

“Robert…”

“I promise. Now get back in bed,” Robert said.

“Are either of us going to be able to sleep?” Aaron asked. “Knowing you might stop breathing at any given moment?”

“Don’t be dramatic,” Robert said. “I’m fine.” He was, the pain in his chest had faded and now he could breathe easily. Though he wouldn’t soon forget how frightened he had been. Aaron did get back into bed, curling up against Robert after only a moment of hesitation.

“Promise me you’ll go.”

“I will,” Robert said. He meant it too. Those few moments had been terrifying.


	2. Poked and Prodded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to say that everything in the show up to and including 22nd July still holds true in this story, so mentions will be made of Gordon's abuse and possibly Aaron's self harm in future chapters. As a thank you for the Kudos and wonderful comments on Ch 1, this is going up earlier than I'd planned! Enjoy!

Neither of them had really slept. They’d dozed on and off, hands always touching each others bodies. By the time morning came around, they were both tired, irritated and worried. “Are you…?” Aaron asked as they dressed mostly in silence.

“Yes,” Robert said impatiently. “I will call the doctor, stop panicking.”

“Fine,” Aaron said, feigning indifference. “Let me know how it goes.”

“Aaron, don’t,” Robert said, grabbing his arm to stop him from turning away from him. “It’ll be okay.” Robert kissed him lightly, a kiss which Aaron returned. 

“I can’t help being worried about you,” Aaron said.

“I know,” Robert said. “I’m worried too. Which is why I will call.” Aaron looked as if that assurance was good enough for him, so he nodded, then kissed Robert again.

* * *

Robert called Doctor Ashcroft a little after nine, the specialist he’d seen at the time. The doctor insisted he came in today at the hospital to have some checks and tests. Difficulty breathing, even if only temporarily apparently wasn’t something they took lightly. 

By the time Robert got home at five o’clock, he was really annoyed. He’d missed out completely on work, Nicola had moaned at him (he hadn’t wanted to tell her the truth about where he’d been all day), he hadn’t seen or spoken to Aaron at all, and he felt like he’d been poked and prodded like a pin cushion. He was in an incredibly bad mood when Aaron walked through the back door of the pub.

“I thought you were going to call me?” Aaron asked, not wanting to sound desperate, but willing to put that aside when it was something so serious.

“Nothing to tell,” Robert said shortly. “I’ve only just got home myself.”

“And?” Aaron asked impatiently.

“They’ve done a hell of a lot of tests on me,” Robert said. “They’re going to call me in a few days with the results.”

“Days?” Aaron questioned. “That’s not good enough, what if…”

“Stop,” Robert said firmly, his voice harsher than Aaron had ever heard it. So serious that Aaron shut his mouth “You think you’re the only one who cares? The only one who’s scared?” Robert closed his eyes and breathed deeply before returning his gaze to Aaron. “Don’t push it. I’m…” Robert couldn’t remember ever in his life admitting the words he was about to say. “I’m frightened, Aaron.” Aaron must have recognised the rarity of those words, because he pulled Robert into a hug without waiting for further explanation. Robert held him, the familiar body in his arms feeling better than he could ever explain. He didn’t need Aaron to say anything, just needed him to be there. “They agreed with you by the way,” Robert said into his neck. “Should have called an ambulance last night.”

“I told you…” Aaron started before he could cut himself off.

“Can we not talk about this tonight?” Robert asked. “I mean…” he cleared his throat. “If something serious is wrong, I want a normal night. With you.”

“You _are_ scared, aren’t you?” Aaron asked, seeing the way his eyes darted around nervously, the lack of his usual confidence and cocky attitude Robert always had. The fact that Robert wasn’t brushing over this scared Aaron more than anything else. Robert could gloss over anything, but not this.

“Yes,” Robert admitted. “They… the doctors talked about so many worse case scenarios today, and I would love to not think about it for a while. Okay?”

“Fine,” Aaron said, wanting to go along with it, if it would make Robert happy. “Terrible film on the telly tonight. Wanna watch it with me and Liv?”

“Yes,” Robert said, smiling at him. He reached for Aaron’s hand and squeezed it gently. “Thank you.”

* * *

 

That night in bed, Robert turned to Aaron, wanting him, wanting to feel connected to him after such a hectic twenty four hours. Needing to sink into his lover and enjoy his body, forget everything else.

“No,” Aaron grumbled, taking the hint of what Robert was after.

“What, why?” Robert asked surprised. Aaron never turned him away, even when Robert would have expected him to, after Gordon’s abuse came out and the trial. Aaron had pointed out to him, more than once that just because he’d been abused didn’t mean his sex drive had dried up.

“We’re not doing anything that might stop you breathing again,” Aaron said simply as Robert absorbed those words.

“Oh, come on, Aaron,” Robert said in disbelief. “Seriously, no sex?”

“You said when you did exercise, your chest hurts. I’m not risking it.”

“What?!”

“Yep,” Aaron said. “Until this is sorted. I don’t want to lose you,” he added, voice softer.

“A quickie isn’t going to make me pass out,” Robert said. “Well it might…” Aaron couldn’t help but smile at the teasing tone in his voice. Aaron leaned across and kissed him deeply, but had no intention of taking it any further.

“Goodnight, Robert,” Aaron said quietly. 

“These bloody doctors better find out what’s wrong with me pretty damn quickly,” Robert muttered, making Aaron grin.


	3. Worry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's short, but I wanted to get a chapter up to say thank you for the Kudos and comments so far! Enjoy!

Robert slept well, Aaron didn’t. Every hour or so, he woke up just to listen to Robert breathe. Occasionally Robert’s breathing would hitch, no more than normal sleeping patterns, but each time it did Aaron’s heart would drop for a few seconds until it evened out.

In the morning, both Robert and Chas looked at him and knew Aaron had slept terribly. “Worth it, was it?” Robert asked him, annoyed, guessing he’d kept himself awake to watch over him, make sure Robert kept breathing.

“I’m going to work,” he grumbled, not answering the question. He did however, kiss Robert before he left, much slower and deeper than normal when his mother was watching. It surprised Robert, but he didn’t complain. Aaron left not long after, just pausing to grab his keys.

“What’s up with him?” Chas asked.

“I think he’s worried about me,” Robert said, staring after him for a few seconds, still able to feel the ghost of his lips against his own.

Chas almost snorted. “Why?” she asked, clearly finding the image amusing.

“I’m not indestructible, you know, Chas,” Robert said, not elaborating any further before going up for a shower.

* * *

 

It was when he stood under the hot water that it happened again. Robert had to brace himself against the wall as he forcefully dragged air into his burning lungs, the effort so painful. Now that he was fully awake, he realised it wasn’t that he couldn’t breathe exactly, more like his lungs felt so restricted only the barest breath of air could get through to do him any good. His jaw hung open, eyes closed as he forced himself to breathe through the tightness. He only had a few seconds of light headedness before the constriction in his chest suddenly relaxed and he could gulp in the oxygen he’d been deprived of. 

The entire episode had probably lasted between thirty and forty five seconds, but it left Robert shaking. True, he had now been awake and (a little) more in control, but that made it all the more real. It wasn’t like a nightmare he could just push aside when the morning came. “God,” he breathed, allowing himself to appreciate his lungs filling with air, and then letting it slowly out. Robert turned the shower off, but stayed there, resting against the shower wall, breathing in and out, slowly. He looked down his chest, seeing the six inch surgical scar, wishing they’d done a better job. He instinctively knew this was to do with last years shooting. He thought he’d got away from it, quite literally dodged the bullet. Apparently not. He put his thumb to the bullet wound and he wasn’t sure if he was imagining it, but it felt more tender than usual.

“Standing here looking at it isn’t going to help,” he told himself, reaching for a towel.

* * *

 

The day flew by, Robert trying to catch up on the work he’d missed yesterday, Aaron busy at the scrap yard. Robert kept checking his phone for calls from the doctor or the hospital, but nothing yet. He knew it was meant to be a few days, but having another episode this morning hadn’t made him feel any more confident about the results. Oh, and he hadn’t mentioned that little blip to Aaron either. No point worrying him more than necessary.

Later that night, Robert turned to Aaron again, wanting sex. “I said…” Aaron started.

“I know,” Robert interrupted. “I know you did, but I want you. And if there is something seriously wrong with me… then I want you even more. Don’t hold back from me. We never work when we’re doing that, Aaron.”

“No, you have a point,” Aaron said, and Robert could hear rather than see the smile in his voice. Robert rolled on top of him, kissing him deeply and he felt the moment Aaron gave in, his whole body arching up towards Robert, the groan against Robert‘s lips spurring him on.

“If you can’t breathe in the middle of the night, it’ll be all your own fault,” Aaron said in a rush. Robert grinned, kissing his neck again as Aaron’s hands slid down his body. Well, they’d both known that “no sex” wouldn’t last long.


	4. Doctor's Appointment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stop writing this at the moment, so two chapters in one day! Enjoy!

The next morning, Robert was called into the hospital, “as soon as possible” to discuss results and options. He found Aaron at the scrap yard, and from the look on Robert's face, it was obvious what was going on.

“I’m driving,” Aaron said, taking off his high vis jacket and pulling his car keys from his pocket.

“Aaron,” Robert called, voice laced with fear. Aaron walked towards him and took his hand, squeezing tightly.

“It’ll be fine,” Aaron said. “You’ve not had another episode, have you?” Robert’s silence was telling. “Robert…” Aaron almost growled.

“I had a… couldn’t breathe properly in the shower yesterday.”

“And you didn’t tell me because?” Aaron asked, voice dangerously low.

“I didn’t want you to worry.”

“Wanted sex more like,” Aaron said under his breath.

“Well, yeah, now that you mention it, I did,” Robert said. “So did you I seem to remember.” It broke the tension, both of them smiling slightly at the memories of the night before. “Come on,” Robert said.

* * *

 

The car journey was silent, as was the wait in the hospital. They were both more worried than they’d ever admit to the other.

“If I see Andy, I’m gonna kill him,” Aaron growled.

“Because that’ll help,” Robert said sarcastically. “I think you punching him was fair enough, but don’t hold a grudge. Trust me, Aaron, it never ends well.”

“A punch in return for a bullet in your chest doesn’t seem fair to me right now,” Aaron admitted. Robert pulled him close, kissing the top of his head and ignoring the few stares he was getting from the other patients in the waiting room.

“Robert Sugden?” an unfamiliar woman with a clipboard called. They both got up at her call.

“Do you want to do this alone?” Aaron asked, hating it if the answer was yes, but needing to ask the question, let him have the option.

“No.” Aaron smiled at him, and they followed the woman to Doctor Ashcroft’s office. It reassured Robert that they seemed to be away from urgent care, as they opened the office door.

“Robert, nice to see you again,” the doctor said.

“Unfortunately, can’t say the same,” Robert said, sitting down. The Doctor inclined his head slightly, appreciating the point.

“I have your results, if your friend would like to wait outside…” the doctor said pointedly.

“He’s my boyfriend and he’s not leaving,” Robert said firmly, making Aaron relax fractionally next to him, catching a brief smile. “What’ve you found out?”

“The easiest way to show you, is with your x rays,” the doctor said, turning away from him to turn the light box on, sticking three images up as Aaron and Robert stood up to get a better view. They all looked at it, the first one seeing three bullet fragments in Robert’s chest.

“This was when I first saw you,” the doctor said. “We needed to know where they were when you were rushed in. We took these two out, which left us with one fragment here,” he said, pointing at the second image. Aaron noticed it looked dangerously close to his heart. “If we’d have taken it out, it would have killed you. You’d been under for so long and your body had gone through such a major amount of trauma. Your heart was beating with it left where it was, so I decided to leave it.”

“You decided?” Aaron asked, earning a glare from Robert.

“I thought he’d prefer being alive,” the doctor said easily. “I was the lead surgeon, it was my call. So yes, we left it.”

 _Calm down,_ Robert’s eyes seemed to say. Aaron nodded, receiving the message. “This was taken the other day, and you see the problem.”

“It’s moved,” Robert said. “But away from my heart, isn’t that good news?”

“Depends if you want to breathe as well as having a beating heart,” the doctor said. Aaron didn’t appreciate his attitude, but he could tell Robert did, preferring someone who’d be bluntly honest with him. “The bullet is moving quickly, quicker than it should be doing. It’s moved two inches since last year, and that is a lot Robert. We’d normally expect that kind of movement within about ten to fifteen years.

“I thought people can live with bullets in them,” Robert said. “You hear about them, don’t you?”

“They can,” the doctor said. “But... your body is trying to get rid of it. Push out the foreign object, and as a result, it’s tearing through your right lung, which is why you can’t breathe at times.”

Robert was staring at the x ray, seemingly struck mute. So Aaron asked, “What can you do to fix it?”

“It needs to come out,” the doctor said simply. “As soon as possible. Apart from this, you’re in great shape, so you should be able to withstand the operation, though it is quite invasive.”

“Okay,” Aaron said, worried that Robert still hadn’t said a word.

“What if I don’t?” Robert asked. “What if I say no, and I want to live with it, what happens then?”

“Robert…” Aaron said quietly.

“It’s a very unusual case,” the doctor said. “So I can only work with what would probably happen.”

“Which is?” Robert asked.

“The bullet fragment will most likely keep moving,” the doctor said. “Tearing through your lung as it goes. Probably make it even harder to breathe, for longer periods of time, with the option of coughing up blood, from the continued tearing in your lung. At some point, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll most likely pass out from lack of air. If you’re lucky, and get to hospital in time, we’ll rush you into surgery, remove your right lung and hopefully get you back.”

“Remove my lung?” Robert asked faintly, sitting back down.

“Plenty of people live perfectly healthy lives with one lung,” the doctor said. “I assure you. One of my patients ran a marathon on one lung last year. But it won’t come to that, if we operate before it gets that far.”

“Mm,” Robert said, noncommittally. He didn’t want to go under again, if he could help it. Didn’t sound like he had much of a choice though.

“I understand this is a lot of information,” the doctor said calmly. “So when you’ve had some time to take it in, call me. We’ll arrange to have you brought in for surgery.”

“What are the odds?” Robert asked. “If I let you operate, remove the bullet fragment, do I make it out of hospital alive?”

“Honestly? Chances are… 60-70 percent that we‘ll be successful. But I’m very good at my job. And it really is your best option, Robert.”

“I’ll think about it,” Robert said. “Thank you.” Why he was thanking him, he had no idea.

“Robert…” Aaron said, already sensing that Robert wasn’t going to meekly agree to having them put him under the knife again. Robert got up and left, leaving Aaron to follow him. Neither of them spoke until they sat in Aaron’s car, and Aaron could see he was shaken, pale and staring into the middle distance out of the windscreen.

“Robert, talk to me,” Aaron said, turning to face him.

“My brother could still kill me, then,” Robert said. “Second crack at it.”

“You’re not going to die,” Aaron said firmly, injecting his voice with as much confidence as he could. If he started wavering when Robert was already falling apart inside, he’d never get him back to talking about this. “Robert, you’ll be fine. Let them do their job.”

“I don’t want to have surgery,” Robert said. “I don’t want to have their hands in my chest again as they try to fix me.”

“I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I don’t think you have a choice here,” Aaron said lightly.

“Fixing me last time didn’t work, did it? All that recovery, and for what? Nine, ten months of borrowed time before the bullet finally gets me?”

“Stop being so negative,” Aaron said. “They said 60-70 percent.”

Robert turned to look at him, the first time since the doctor started speaking. “Which means at the worst, 40 percent I die on the table.”

“You won’t,” Aaron said, making Robert scoff. “I know you better than anyone, you’re too damn stubborn to let statistics finish you off.” The corner of Robert’s lips twitched a very little bit.

“I want to go home,” Robert said quietly. Aaron turned the key in the ignition. “Vic can’t know,” Robert said. “It’ll kill her.”

“Your sister is stronger than you or Andy ever seem to think,” Aaron said, as he started to drive.

“I mean it,” Robert said quietly. “I don’t want her to know. Knowing Andy’s responsible for my funeral? I don’t want that.”

“You’re not dying,” Aaron said, getting annoyed now as he kept driving.

“Just go home, Aaron,” Robert said impatiently, not wanting to argue. He placed his hand on Aaron's thigh briefly, to show he didn’t mean to snap. Aaron took the olive branch before going back to the village, mind going a hundred miles an hour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am making up some of the medical details, but it is possible to live with a bullet inside you (presuming it's hit no vital organs) and it's definitely possible to live with one lung as one of my family members has for twenty years. Hope it doesn't read as too far fetched, and hope you're still enjoying this!


	5. Ross

Robert was quiet all through dinner and Liv ended up frowning at him. “What’s with him? You had an argument _again_?”

“No,” Aaron said, glancing between Robert and Liv. “Everything’s fine.”

“He’s not said two words since I came home from school,” Liv said. “Not even staring at you with puppy dog eyes when he thinks I’m not looking.”

“Liv, leave it,” Aaron said firmly. “Robert’s just had a bad day. He’s…” Aaron didn’t get any further, watching as Robert flinched away, groaning as he closed his eyes.

“Robert?” Aaron asked quietly, watching the expression on his face, the open mouthed helpless gasping which was beginning to become horribly familiar to him. “Liv, call an ambulance.”

“You what?” she asked, frowning at him, wondering if he’d gone mad.

“Liv, just do it!” Aaron shouted. The shout shocked her, Aaron never shouted at her even when he was severely upset.

Robert groaned and shook his head at Liv, eyes wide, unable to say the word “no.” Liv froze, unable to decide what to do, torn between the two of them. Aaron didn’t have eyes for anything besides Robert, a hand to his face, softly urging him to breathe, even knowing he had no power over that.

“…kay,” Robert gasped out, struggling to breathe in again. 

“You’re not okay, Robert,” Aaron said, voice still soft. The fit passed and Robert gulped in air, filling his lungs. “You’re not okay,” Aaron repeated, dropping his hand. “Just call the doctor and book in.”

“No,” Robert said firmly. “I’m not ready.”

“What am I missing?” Liv asked. They’d both forgotten her and they turned to see the usual confidence on her face completely faded, replaced with a look that made her seem incredibly young.

“Nothing,” Robert said, but the way he leant back against the kitchen chair, still breathing deeply argued that point.

“Robert, just…”

“No!” Robert shouted, recovering quickly. “This isn’t your life, Aaron. I can’t just accept that my body doesn’t work the way it should do any more.”

“I should go,” Liv said, leaving the room as soon as physically possible, slamming the door loudly, making both men flinch.”

“I can’t watch you be so stubborn when you can fix this,” Aaron said. “I know it’s awful, of course I know that. But not having the operation will be worse. You know it takes at least twenty minutes for an ambulance to get to the village. How do you think you’ll cope, not breathing for half an hour when this gets worse? And it will get worse, Robert.”

“I’m not ready to think about it, Aaron.”

“Fine,” Aaron said, annoyed by his stubbornness. “I’m going out. Keep your phone in easy reach, just in case no one’s here to call for help.” Robert sighed but didn’t respond as Aaron left, the summer air still warm, almost hot in the mini heat wave they’d been having lately. He knew this was happening to Robert and not him, but his boyfriend needed to stop living in denial and accept it. You’d think having your lungs shut down on you would be enough, but oh no, Aaron said to himself.

Aaron needed time to calm down, and a walk around the village would accomplish that. Or that was the plan, until he saw Ross and Emma walking towards the pub. He couldn’t stop himself, he saw red. Before he’d even made the conscious choice to move, he’d grabbed Ross and had him up against the wall.

“What the hell are you playing at?!” Ross shouted, before Aaron’s forearm pressed against his throat. It was only the surprise of Aaron’s movements, and the immense anger running through his body that had allowed him to get the better of Ross so easily.

“What are you doing!” Emma shouted, pulling at Aaron ineffectually. “Let him go, you animal! I’m calling the police.”

“Go right ahead,” Aaron said, not letting up the pressure on Ross’s neck. “He’s the one who’ll have some explaining to do once I’m finished.”

“What’ve you done this time,” Emma said to Ross, who’s eyes were wild.

“You’re not going to hurt me,” he breathed out, the faintness of his voice an unpleasant reminder of how Robert had been not minutes before, through no choice of his own. Aaron pressed harder, hatred running through him.

“Sure about that, are you?” Aaron sneered.

“Aaron, he can’t breathe!” Emma shouted, pulling at him again.

“Now he knows how it feels,” Aaron said under his breath. He saw the moment of recognition in Ross’s eyes, then fear. “Yeah, Robert told me what you did. You coward.”

“Let him go.” They all turned, hearing Robert’s voice, calm and in control. “Aaron, this isn’t helping.” Emma moved out of the way, clearly sensing that Robert had more of a chance of making Aaron see sense than she did. Robert touched the arm across Ross’s throat, looking directly into Aaron’s eyes. “Come on, you don’t want this. Not when you’re calm. Last thing I need right now is you up on a murder charge.” Aaron loosened his grip, not totally, but enough for Ross to gain the upper hand and push Aaron away.

“For God’s sake, I didn’t kill him, look at him, lover boy’s fine!” Ross said, pointing at Robert. That was almost enough to make Aaron go back and hit him, because Robert was far from fine but Robert’s arms around him stopped him.

“Drop it,” Robert said firmly. Then moving so he could whisper in his ear. “Come on, Aaron, I don’t want the whole village knowing what’s wrong with me. Leave it.” Robert kissed his neck almost out of reflex before letting him go.

“Don’t let me you see you again,” Aaron said in a growl to Ross. He held up his hands in mock innocence and walked away, Emma asking what that had been about.

“Was that necessary?” Robert asked when they were alone.

“Yes.”

“Aaron…”

“Do you not get how much you mean to me?” Aaron asked quietly. “If you…” Aaron swallowed. “I don’t know how I’d cope without you, Robert. I don’t want to find out.”

“This isn’t about you,” Robert said very, very quietly. “Give me time. At least a few days. Please. Before you start nagging me. The doctor said I could have weeks or months before I really start having serious problems. Give me two or three days.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. That was fair, though he’d be going out of his mind with worry if it took Robert too long to come to terms with it. Robert kissed him, pressing him against the same wall Aaron had threatened Ross not five minutes ago. His hands gripped Aaron’s hips, pulling them tight against each other. The feel of Aaron’s body solid and willing against his felt wonderful, and even through clothes, Robert knew how badly he wanted him. Robert pulled out of the kiss, gasping for breath before returning for more, but Aaron froze.

“No, that was good,” Robert said, grinning at him. “That was a good breathless.”

“That is a terrible line,” Aaron said, smiling as Robert kissed him again, dipping his head slightly, one hand rising from his hip to cradle his face. Aaron’s hand wound in Robert’s hair, keeping him as close as possible, not caring that they were in public. They might not have the time to care about stupid things like that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the encouragement on this story! Stubborn Robert wasn't planned, but I've just gone with it!


	6. Andy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the enthusiasm and encouragement. Really means a lot to me! Little Aaron here, but I'm rather fond of this chapter anyway.

The next morning Robert drove up to the top field on what used to be his fathers farm. He needed time to think. It was still really early, so early that he’d left Aaron in bed, pressing a kiss to his sleeping lips.

“Okay?” Aaron had murmured, voice cracked from sleep.

“Okay,” Robert said, kissing him once more before leaving.

Now, he pulled his car into a lay by, walking the fifty metres or so until he reached the gate, where he could see over the entire farm and most of the village. How often had Jack stood here, looking over his little kingdom? Probably moaning about how useless his son was. The early morning mist still hung over the village, but Robert knew it wouldn’t take long for it to burn off. It was summer after all. Overnight, he’d made the decision. Today he was going to call the doctor to schedule his surgery, though that didn’t mean he liked it. The thought of having a strangers hands inside his body, searching for the last remaining piece of evidence that Andy had hated him enough to try to kill him, terrified him. Plus… Andy may yet succeed in his wish, Robert could still die from that shot. He could die on the operating table, the doctor had made it clear that was a possibility.

Robert sighed heavily, looking over the place that was his home, even when he’d spent ten years running from it. Emmerdale would always be his home no matter where he lived. Even before he came back, he knew this place would have a special place in his heart. And now it was the place he met Aaron, even though he was trying not to be too sentimental. _Aaron_ , someone who loved him much more than he deserved, someone who still managed to be good and kind after all the crap he’d gone through in his life. A man who had given Robert a second chance, even knowing that Robert would probably hurt him again. He loved Aaron with all his twisted and battered heart. Loved him as much as he was capable of, more than anyone he‘d ever been with before. It was remarkable to him how much Aaron kept fighting, kept trying to live his life, make himself whole after the hell he‘d been through. _Some of which you put him through_ , the annoying voice in his head said.

“You don’t deserve him,” Robert said to himself. It was true, he didn’t. But Robert was too selfish a man to give him up. Enjoyed the way Aaron looked at him, making his heart jolt in his chest several times a day. Loved the little touches they shared to stay connected to each other, not just about sex these days. If Robert was any kind of man at all, he’d push Aaron away. This wasn’t fair on him. Aaron had already had one boyfriend die on him, Robert didn’t want to make it two. The pain Aaron would put himself through if Robert died… thinking it was all his fault, when it wouldn’t be. Aaron took on too much guilt, Robert had always known that. Before, during the affair, he’d used that, played on it to get Aaron behaving the way he wanted.

“You’ve just moved in, you can’t run away from him when things start to get tough,” he said to himself, finding it easier to think in the clear fresh air. Maybe that’s why Jack always came up here. For some peace. Even if he could move away from Aaron, leave him alone, he wouldn’t. He was far too selfish to let go of the one person who always gave him comfort, whether he was looking for it or not.

“Oh.” Robert turned around, he hadn’t heard the footsteps approaching, but he felt his heart clench when he recognised Andy. He wasn’t sure he had a fight in him today. Part of him wanted to shout and rage at him, but the more practical side of him wanted to let it go. He compromised by deciding to leave.

“I’ll go,” Robert said. He could go home, make Liv toast before she went to school, oh no, school was finished for the summer wasn’t it? He could make her breakfast anyway, kiss Aaron good morning properly, spar with Chas who still didn’t know anything was wrong with him, and he liked it that way. They’d need to think of an explanation for Liv too after last night.

“No, it’s fine,” Andy said. “I often come up here to think.” He held out his thermos in illustration. “I’ll leave you to it.” Andy turned away, clearly not wanting to spend more time with Robert than absolutely necessary.

“I didn’t kill her,” Robert said surely, looking into the distance, only knowing that Andy was still there because the sound of footsteps had stopped. “I know what you think of me. I’m a liar, I’m a cheat, I’ll do anything to get my own way. But I’m not a murderer. Katie was an accident.”

“Convenient for you that she died, though, wasn’t it?” Andy sneered, coming closer to him.

“Yes.” Andy stared at him, not expecting him to be so honest. “I wanted the affair kept hidden, of course I did. I pushed her, she fell and the floor collapsed. It _was_ an accident.”

“Robert, you still killed her. She wouldn’t have been there if it wasn’t for you. Or Aaron.”

“Don’t blame him,” Robert said instantly. “I got him caught up in my twisted lies and he’d had enough.” Robert took a deep breath as Andy moved next to him, leaning over the fence. “No, she wouldn’t have been. But you were buying the farm anyway. One of you was bound to go upstairs, having a look at the building. The floor could have collapsed under anyone.”

Andy didn’t say anything, and both brothers knew he had his mind made up. Nothing Robert said now was going to change it. “Are you thinking about dad?” Andy asked in surprise. “He used to come up here.”

“Yeah, I am. You know I might be seeing him soon,” Robert said, feigning easiness. Andy frowned at him. “And mum.”

“What’re you on about this time?” Andy asked harshly.

“That bullet you schemed and plotted to have kill me?” Robert said, turning to look at him. “They left a fragment in my chest last year. They need to take it out and there’s a good chance… a chance the operation will kill me. So you’ll get what you wanted after all.”

Andy paused. “You’re lying. I don’t know what scheme you’re playing but…” Robert laughed without humour, looking at the ground. Of course Andy would think he was lying.

“Tell you what, when Aaron and Vic are organising my funeral, don’t tell them you think I was lying for attention. Or maybe when I start to cough up blood, that’ll convince you?” Robert couldn’t reasonably blame Andy for not believing him, but he wasn’t in a mood to be reasonable. Andy looked surprised, but said nothing.

“You know… I don’t want to die, I want to live. But if I did, it’d be good to see mum again,” Robert said, allowing himself to voice something he hadn’t even thought of yet. “You killed her. So maybe we’re both capable of terrible things after all.”

“It’s different,” Andy snapped. “That… the fire was an accident!”

“Exactly,” Robert said, trying to make his point. “And I know better than most that accidents happen. You having me shot? That was premeditated, planned. Even down to the fact that you had a rock solid alibi! Andy, you wanted me to die, and you know what? I still might.”

“You won’t die,” Andy said. “You’re too damn stubborn.” It was almost the same words Aaron had said after the conversation with the doctor, but they sounded a hell of a lot better from Aaron than Andy.

“What are you doing with Aaron? Hasn’t he been through enough?”

“Too much,” Robert said. “Far too much.”

“He’ll see right through you, you know,” Andy said, still wanting to hurt him. “Sooner or later.”

Robert knew he was saying that to hurt him, but it didn’t. Didn’t even get near, because Aaron had always seen through him. “Andy, he saw right through me before I’d ever touched him,” Robert said, truthfully. Apart from mind blowing sex, it was one of the reasons he’d kept going back for more. Aaron saw the real him, and seemed to like him anyway. Love him even.

“Do you love him?” Andy asked, a quiet honest question. It was only the fact that Robert knew Andy wasn’t going to tell anyone at all about this conversation that made Robert answer honestly.

“Yes,” he said. “More than I thought possible. At one point I thought he was going to ruin my entire life, take everything from me. But now? I can’t imagine a life for myself without him in it.”

“He’s so not your type, though.”

“Why, because he’s a man?” Robert asked, stung. Why should that matter?

“No, because he’s scruffy and… not at all what I thought you’d go for. No big bank balance either.”

“On that note, I think I’ll leave,” Robert said, tapping his hand against the top of the fence before walking away. He got to the car when his phone rang. Predictably it was Aaron.

“Hey,” Robert said, leaning against the car door. “Before you ask, I’m fine.”

“Can’t blame me for worrying,” came his gruff voice. “Where are you?”

“Fancied some fresh air,” Robert said. “I’m coming home right now. About ten minutes away.”

“Okay,” Aaron said. “Shame, I like waking up next to you.”

“We’ll try that tomorrow,” Robert said, smiling. Just hearing his voice felt seriously good. Like everything was right with the world for a few brief seconds. “Look, I’m going to call the doctor later. Give them permission to operate.”

“Oh, Robert, that’s great,” Aaron said, and even over the phone line, Robert could hear the relief in his voice. He felt a brief twinge of guilt for putting him through the last few days. “It’ll be all right,” Aaron said.

“As long as you have faith,” Robert said. He was worried, but he’d accepted that surgery was the best option. “I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay, bye.” Robert put his phone back in his pocket and tried to unlock the car, trying to pretend his chest wasn’t feeling tight and he wasn’t feeling light headed. He couldn’t breathe. Again.

“Rob, you okay?” He’d forgotten about Andy, but he couldn’t say anything, gasping for breath. He seemed scarcely aware that his legs had given way and his head leaning against the car door, knees pressing into the ground. “Robert, look at me!” Andy shouted, hands on his shoulders, trying to straighten him up.

“Get off me!” Robert spat when he had the air to speak with again. He stood up, angry that Andy had seen him like that. “I don’t need your help! You’ve done enough”

“You were serious, weren’t you?” Andy said. Robert didn’t reply, he grabbed his keys and drove back to the Woolpack. He wanted to see Aaron.

 


	7. Everyone Knows

“Right, one of you two are going to talk to me,” Liv said firmly that night. “What the hell is going on? Rob, you’re not talking about anything, Aaron, you keep looking at Robert like he’s about to keel over. Will someone tell me what’s going on?”

Aaron and Robert both looked at each other and knew they couldn’t lie to her. Robert sat down on the kitchen chair with a sigh. “I have a problem,” Robert said. “I have… episodes where I can’t breathe properly. I went to see the doctor, and when I was shot last year they left part of the bullet in my chest. It’s now causing problems.”

“What?” Liv asked, frowning at him. “But… you’re going to be all right, yeah?”

“Hope so,” Robert said. “I need surgery, to take it out.”

“Okay, so… when?” Liv asked, still not taking her eyes off of him. She hadn’t looked at Aaron once.

“Couple of weeks,” Robert said. If he wanted to go private, it’d be sooner, but he didn’t. It’d take that long to get his head around it. Plus, Doctor Ashcroft had saved his life when he was shot at almost point blank range, so Robert would stick with him.

“How bad is it?” Liv asked. “I mean… could you die?”

“I’m not going to lie to you Liv, yeah I could,” Robert said easily.

“But that’s not going to happen,” Aaron said, as if by will power he could stop it.

“It could, Aaron,” Robert said firmly, moving his eyes away from Liv to his boyfriend. “You know it could, and you’re going to have to start getting used to the idea.”

“Robert…” Aaron said quietly.

“I’ve just got used to you,” Liv said, then nodded her head in Aaron‘s direction. “He’s miserable when you’re not here. You can’t go dying on us now.”

“Your concern for me is touching,” Robert said, grinning at her, and the use of the word “us.”

“Hey, I am not miserable!” Aaron said. Both Liv and Robert stared at him in a way that made him laugh, though he shouldn’t be in this situation.

“You’ll be all right,” Liv said, as if trying to convince herself.

“Course he will,” Aaron said easily. “He just likes to be dramatic.”

“Aaron…” Robert said warningly. But Aaron shook his head, not wanting to go into it with Liv here. Liv, to both of their surprise hugged Robert tightly. Robert put a hand on her back unexpectedly before she let him go. “I’m going out with Gabby,” she said.

“When’re you going to be back?” Aaron asked. She didn’t answer. “Liv!” The only response was the closing of the door. “Great.”

“We’ve told her, that’s something,” Robert said, coming to sit next to Aaron on the sofa.

“You need to tell Vic,” Aaron said. “You can’t avoid it forever.”

“No, not forever,” Robert said. “A few more days would do though.”

“She will find out,” Aaron said, as they shifted on the sofa, Robert lying on top of him as Aaron wrapped his arms around him. It was very comfortable. “You fainted in front of Andy this morning, and now Liv knows… It’s only a matter of time. You need to tell her.”

“I will,” Robert said. “Tomorrow.”

“Don’t wriggle out of it,” Aaron warned. “It’ll be worse if she finds out from someone else.”

“I know,” Robert said, kissing Aaron’s neck. He ignored the fact that his feet were hanging off the edge of the sofa, it was worth it to be this close to Aaron. He breathed in the familiar scent of his boyfriend and Robert wondered if he’d ever want to move. He’d be perfectly happy to stay here for ever. 

Then Chas walked in and both men looked up at her. Robert was prepared to be shoved off Aaron’s chest, but to Robert’s surprise, he didn’t move.

“Interrupting am I?” Chas said with clear amusement.

“Go away,” Aaron said with a small smile, his only other movement to tighten his arms around Robert. She took the hint, grabbed her purse and left.

“You didn’t push me off,” Robert murmured into his neck.

“We got here first,” Aaron said, smiling as Robert’s lips started kissing his skin. “Anyway, I’m enjoying this.”

“Remind me to have a health scare more often if this is how it takes you.”

“That’s not funny, Robert.”

“It is a little,” Robert said. “All right, fine, relax,” he added, rolling his eyes. They kept kissing, which was becoming much more intimate, neither able to keep their hands off each other. Robert found himself rolling his hips against Aaron, thoroughly enjoying feeling Aaron hard through his jeans.

“Upstairs?” Aaron breathed.

"If we make it that far," Robert agreed.

* * *

 

Telling Vic the next day had gone worse than he thought. She’d cried and railed and begged Robert to tell her who shot him, which he refused to do. He wouldn’t be responsible for making Vic chose between her brothers, and it‘s not like his own behaviour had been impeccable either. However, he had made it perfectly clear that Aaron wasn’t responsible. She hadn’t argued too much after Robert pointed out how much guilt Aaron would carry if he had pulled the trigger. She admitted he had a point.

It didn’t take long after that for the news to leak out throughout the village. He could tell from the sympathetic looks he was getting and the way he was stared at a little too long for people like Pearl and Bob.

As the days passed, Robert and Aaron became closer and closer to each other, if that’d even been possible in the first place. Chas noticed, but obviously she couldn’t say anything, what with Robert still having a bullet lodged in his chest, it kind of weakened her argument. Liv had lost her cocky attitude, almost stepping around Robert like he was going to faint clear away for about twenty four hours before she reverted back to her normal scathing self, something which Aaron and Robert were both grateful for. Going back to normal, at least in one aspect of their lives. 

Aaron was trying to be supportive of Robert, he knew that, but what Robert wanted more than anything else was to pretend everything was normal. Which more or less, they were able to do.

“Aaron, we need to talk about what happens if I don’t make it,” Robert said.

“No,” Aaron said. “I can’t think about it, Robert. Neither should you.”

“Because thinking positive has worked wonders for you,” Robert said sarcastically.

“I’m not the one having surgery next week,” Aaron said. “You can’t go into it thinking you’re going to die.”

“You’re not even going to let me talk about it, are you?”

“No,” Aaron said. “Sorry, I can’t. To lose you… what if it were me? Talking about possibly dying.”

“I rushed you to hospital with septicaemia, Aaron. I know how it feels, thinking I could lose you.”

“I can’t think of you dying. You’ll be fine.” Robert shook his head, but it was what lead to him having a rather in depth conversation with Victoria the next day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and Kudos on this one. Really trying to get chapters done asap for you wonderful people! 
> 
> Also, trying to decide on which ending I want to use for this fic. Do we want ridiculous fluffy happiness, or just things going back to the status quo, Emmerdale style? Let me know!


	8. Conversations

“Tea?” Vic asked, clearly distracting herself from the seriousness of what Robert was dealing with. He let her do it, not speaking until she sat down opposite him at the kitchen table.

“How are you?”

“Fine,” he said, shrugging it off. “I need you to listen to me, though. Seriously.” She nodded and Robert took a deep breath, needing to talk about it. “Vic, there’s things I need to say to you, to ask you that I can’t ask anyone else,” Robert said. “Aaron won’t hear it, won’t think about any other possibility but me getting over this, surviving the operation. I need to talk about it.”

“Go on, then,” she said. “What is it?”

Robert took in a deep breath before speaking. “Two things I really need you to do for me. If it goes badly, I need you and Adam to promise me that you’ll look after Aaron.”

“Robert…”

“Please,” Robert said urgently. “He’ll blame himself. He’ll find some way to blame himself and I can’t cope, thinking about the downward spiral he’ll go on, if I don’t make it. Please look after him, Vic.”

Vic’s eyes were gleaming, wet with tears she wasn’t allowing to cry, but she nodded. “We will. You know we will, you don’t even have to ask.”

“Okay,” Robert said, gripping her hand tightly. “The second thing. My solicitor, Barrows in Hotten, he has a copy of my will.”

“Rob, no,” Vic interrupted, eyes wide with fear.

“He’ll know what to do,” Robert said, ignoring her. “It’s quite simple really, but just in case."

“Stop thinking about just in case scenarios and focus on getting better!” Vic said loudly.

“I want to,” Robert said. “Come on, I want a long life, I want to be with Aaron for more than just a few short months, because it isn’t enough. I want more and I’m not nearly done. I don’t want to leave him, God it’s the last thing I want. Or you, come to that. But I don’t get a say in this, Vic. Plus I‘ve got loads of Game of Thrones to catch up on. Don’t want to die before that finishes, do I?” Victoria laughed at the weak joke.

“Who’ve you left everything to?” Vic asked, unable to stop herself. “Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“Who do you think?” Robert asked her honestly. “You’re taken care of too, don’t worry about that.” He reached for her, squeezing her hand.

“He won’t take it,” Vic said, ignoring the second sentence. “You know Aaron won’t. He won’t touch a penny.”

“Persuade him,” Robert said urgently, knowing _that_ would be an incredibly difficult and time consuming task. “Get him to spend it on something incredibly stupid and frivolous. Something… very un Robert like.”

“Like what?” Vic asked.

“I don’t know,” Robert said. “Do him more good than being buried with me, won’t it?”

“You need to stop thinking like this, you’re going to be fine,” Vic said urgently. “Absolutely fine.”

“Vic, I need to speak like this. Aaron won’t let me even consider it. There’s too much I need to make sure of, if I’m not here.”

“You really love him, don’t you?” Vic said quietly.

“Yeah,” Robert said. “Of course I do. I…” Robert swallowed away the thought of possibly leaving Aaron alone. “I don’t want to die, Vic. I…” He coughed, spluttering as pain bloomed in the right side of his chest. He could still breathe but the coughing wouldn’t end.

“What do I do?” Vic asked, clearly worried. “I’ll call Aaron?”

“No,” Robert managed to get out in between heaving and coughing. “He’ll only worry,” he said as he pulled himself together.

“Rob, you’re bleeding,” Vic said quietly. Robert put his fingers to his lips and found a very small drop of blood.

“It’s fine,” Robert said, trying to shrug it off, though he couldn't feel any lower.

“It’s hardly nothing,” Vic said. “Tell Aaron or I will,” she added, correctly predicting his next words.

“I will,” Robert said reluctantly.

“I love you,” she said. “My stupid big brother.”

“I love you too,” Robert said, pulling her in for a hug. “My annoying little sister.” She laughed weakly against his shoulder.

* * *

 

He didn’t know if it was a side effect of the upcoming operation, or the effort of trying to convince everyone he was okay, but Robert felt exhausted most of the time. He sat on the sofa at the back of the Woolpack, head resting on his hand as he closed his eyes.

“Oi.” Robert jerked awake, seeing Chas standing in front of him. He blinked, trying to keep himself conscious. “How are you?”

“Sick of answering that question,” Robert said. “What do you want Chas? I’m sure you didn’t wake me just to ask about my well being.” Chas pulled up a kitchen chair and Robert had the feeling he wasn’t going to like this conversation one bit. “What?” Robert asked.

“Aaron,” Chas said. “I… don’t want this to hurt him.”

“You mean if I flat line on the operating table,” Robert said bluntly.

“It will kill him if something happens to you.”

“Can’t really stop it though, Chas,” Robert said.

“Move out,” Chas said quietly. “Break his heart now, and he’ll get over it. But if you die…”

“I don’t have any intention of that,” Robert said. “And I am not leaving him either. You’re a fool if you’d think it would work. He’s not an idiot, he’d know why I’m doing it, and he wouldn’t let me. I’m in hospital in twenty four hours, Chas. You’ve left it a bit late.”

“But…”

“You think if you told him “Aaron, I don’t think it’s a great idea you get so close to Robert. What with the ticking clock hanging over his head. Maybe you should distance yourself from him.” You think that would make any difference to him at all?”

“I love Aaron, I don’t want him to get hurt,” Chas said desperately.

“I know,” Robert said. “I don’t either.” Robert sighed heavily. “Look, he’ll be all right, Chas. Even if I…” he left that sentence hanging. “Aaron will be all right. He’ll get over it.”

“I’ve been trying to tell him that for nearly eighteen months,” Chas said. “He can’t get over you.”

“I would be flattered if it wasn’t for that look on your face,” Robert said. He leaned back against the sofa, eyes heavy. “Chas, I know you don’t believe this, but I love him.” She sighed, unable to know what to say to that. Robert grimaced as he coughed deeply and painfully. His hand came away from his mouth spotted with red blood and his heart sank. Chas passed him a tissue box and he took it, trying to get rid of the blood. This wasn’t good.

“Hey.” They both turned to see Aaron at the door. “What’s going on?” Robert was rather pleased to see Chas looking alarmed, always nice to have something in reserve to use against her on a rainy day. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Robert said, smiling at him. “Promise.”

“Apart from the fact he’s bleeding,” Chas said bluntly. “Don’t let him lie to you.” Chas left the room, leaving Aaron staring at him.

“That true?”

“Might be,” Robert said. “I’m fine.” Apart from the taste of blood in his mouth, he preferred the coughing fits to the breathlessness, because at least with the coughing he didn’t feel like he was about to pass out. “Come here.” Aaron did, allowing Robert to pull him down against his body and the sofa. Aaron couldn’t help the smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“You’re not going to sleep tonight, are you?” Aaron asked.

“God, I hope not,” Robert said. “I’m going into hospital tomorrow afternoon, the last thing I want to do tonight is sleep.” He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

“Right, I get the point,” Aaron said smiling. He got off Robert, heading towards the pub.

“Where are you going?” Robert asked.

“Food,” he said. “If you’re planning to keep us occupied all night, I’m definitely going to need food first." Robert grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd love to know what you think of this, thank you for reading this far!


	9. Goodbye (for now)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Completely overwhelmed by the comments on the last chapter, Thank you! So I spent the rest of the afternoon working on this and I'm posting it now rather than tomorrow as a thank you to you wonderful people! Don't let the chapter title put you off either!

That night, neither Robert nor Aaron had ever felt more wanted or loved. Neither of them said it, not even got near the words but they knew that this could be goodbye. Could be the last time they had proper time alone to enjoy each other, show each other how much they wanted and desired the other so they wanted to make the absolute most of it. It had been intense, sensual and mind blowing, leaving their bodies almost shaking with the need and both breathless. They’d been louder than they probably should, but they knew that no one would be bothering them tonight.

“Don’t leave me,” Aaron whispered, his head resting on Robert‘s stomach. “I hate to beg like this but please don’t leave me.”

“I’ll do my best,” Robert said quietly, stroking his hair. “Can you… if it goes badly…”

“Robert,” Aaron said, a warning tone in his voice.

“Make sure Vic’s okay,” Robert said, ignoring his attempt to stop him. “She’s the only one who’s always stood by me, no matter how much of an idiot I’ve been.”

“What about me?” Aaron asked.

“You’ve got Chas, you’ve got Liv. You don’t need me,” Robert said quietly. Aaron twisted to look directly at his face.

“You really believe that? Of course I need you.” Aaron moved up the bed so he could kiss him.

“I love you,” Robert murmured, his large hands cradling Aaron’s face before kissing him deeply.

“Robert, I…”

“Don’t,” Robert said. “Wait for me to wake up from the operation. Say it then. Give me something to look forward to.”

“You know, though,” Aaron said, urgently, needing to know that Robert knew what he felt, how very much he loved him. “Don’t you?”

“Course I know,” Robert said. He kissed Aaron again before whispering against his lips. “As much as I don’t want to, I’m going to fall asleep in a minute.”

“Rest,” Aaron said, kissing his neck gently. Robert was asleep in seconds, but Aaron stayed awake, watching him. If this was the last time he would share his bed with Robert, he wanted to make the most of it.

* * *

 

Aaron woke up the next day to Robert’s hand stroking his arm slowly, sensually, sending tiny sparks of want through Aaron‘s body, though he‘d only just woken up. “What time is it?” Aaron asked.

“Almost ten,” Robert said easily.

“You what? Why didn’t you wake me?” Aaron asked, bewildered. Wasted time, they didn’t have the time to waste any more.

“I wanted to watch you sleep,” Robert said quietly.

“That could be a bit creepy,” Aaron countered, frowning at him.

“You know, most people would think it romantic,” Robert said, fighting back a laugh.

Aaron scoffed. “I’m not most people.”

“Mm, thank God for that,” Robert said, smiling as he pulled him into a kiss.

“What time do you have to be at the hospital?” Aaron asked.

“Way to ruin the mood,” Robert said before answering the question. “Three. For all the pre op tests and more treating me like a lab rat before my surgery tomorrow.” Robert held him close. “I want you to stay here tonight. No need for both of us to be having a sleepless night in the hospital.”

“Okay,” Aaron said, not exactly wanting to spend an unnecessary night in a waiting room anyway.

They both turned when there was a quiet nervous knock on their bedroom door. Aaron grabbed his dressing gown quickly before opening the door, surprised to see Chas.

“What?”

“I’ve got the bacon on, if you two want breakfast,” she said.

“Oh, it only took a bit of lead in my chest for you to like me,” Robert said from the bed.

“We’ll be down in five minutes,” Aaron said. She nodded, looking upset and concerned.

“Is it just me, or is she warming up to me?” Robert said.

“Nah,” Aaron said. “She’s just worried I’ll sink into a severe depression if you peg it.” For some unknown reason both of them found themselves laughing at that as Aaron got back into bed, kissing his neck. Robert loved the feeling of Aaron’s laughter vibrating against his jaw, going straight through him. The situation wasn’t funny, but neither of them could stop the laughter and it felt incredibly freeing to simply lie with the man you love and laugh so easily, even in the face of all this.

* * *

 

Robert went to see Vic before Aaron drove him to the hospital. He wanted to say goodbye properly. She was making a valiant effort not to cry. “You sure you don’t want me at the hospital?”

“Yeah, I’m sure,” Robert said. “Be there for when I wake up, though. Keep Aaron company.”

“That’s the positivity I want to hear,” she said, smiling at him. “Have you spoken to Andy?”

“No,” Robert said, his entire tone and demeanour changing dramatically. “Don’t think I want his “good wishes” today.”

“Rob, he’s your brother.”

“A fact he forgets when it’s convenient,” Robert said. “Vic, don’t push. I don’t have the energy to fight my lung and Andy on the same day.”

“Fine,” she said. “But I wish you could make it up with him.”

“I’m not the one holding the grudge, Vic,” Robert said. “I know you all see Andy as the Golden Boy, but he can be just as twisted as me when he wants to be. And that’s the last time I’m mentioning him.” Vic could sense when to drop it.

“When will you be home?” Vic asked. “After the operation I mean.”

Robert paused. He had no idea how long the recovery would take, he’d not asked the doctors that question. He was so focused on surviving the hours he’d be on the table, that that hadn’t occurred to him. “I don’t know.”

“Well find out,” she said. “Otherwise I will visit you in hospital.”

“I love you, Vic,” Robert said, almost dwarfing her in the hug. “You’re the best of us, you know?”

“I know,” she said. “Aaron better take care of you.”

“You better take care of him,” Robert reminded her darkly. “See you in a few days.” He tried to inject his voice with confidence before he left for the Woolpack, where Aaron’s car was. He bumped into Diane almost literally. “Trying to sneak off without a goodbye were you?” she asked with a friendly wink.

“No,” he said. “Don’t want a big fuss, though. I’ll be back by the end of the week, you know.”

“Hope so,” Diane said. “Use your stubbornness for something good, eh?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, forcing a smile. Diane hugged him briefly, a hug he wouldn’t admit felt good to be comforted.

“You want me to come to the hospital?”

“No,” Robert said. “Nothing doing today anyway,” he said. “It’ll all happen tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Diane said. “Make sure Aaron takes care of you.”

“He does, always,” Robert said before he could stop himself. Diane smiled, then walked away, Robert pleased that she was standing by his wishes that he didn’t want a fuss.

“Getting rid of you, then?” Liv’s voice reached him before he saw her, leaning against the wall of the pub, smirking at him.

“Only temporarily.”

“Shame,” she teased. “You always nick all the hot water in the mornings, it’s annoying.”

“Liv!” Aaron shouted at her, half annoyed, half worried that her words would be having an effect on Robert. They were, but not a bad one. Liv was one of the only people who didn’t treat him like he was going to break when they’d found the truth about his health.

“Well, you’ve got time to make it look like a murder site before I get home,” Robert said, remembering Liv and Gabby’s adventure with red hair dye. It had got everywhere.

“Okay, I hate to break this up, but we’ve got to leave,” Aaron said, holding his car keys up. Robert felt a sudden thrill of fear and nerves making his legs go weak. Then realised he was having another breathless attack, trying to drag air into his constricted lungs.

“Robert,” Aaron said, and he tried to use Aaron’s voice as a focus, trying to grab precious air into his body. Aaron’s arms were holding him upright as his legs completely went before he managed to breathe in deeply again. “All right?” Aaron asked concerned when Robert seemed to be back to himself. Robert nodded, hoping this was one of the last times he’d have to feel so out of control of his own body.

“Let’s go,” he said. Liv raced towards him and gave him a hug.

“Made an impression on you then?” Robert asked.

“Stay away from the white light, eh?” she said, winking at him before rushing back inside the pub.

“If only everyone warmed up to me like that,” Robert said.

“Robert…”

“Let’s go,” Robert repeated, getting into the car. Aaron followed his lead, getting into the drivers seat and starting the car.  
  



	10. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the comments and enthusiasm for this story! Just the one update today. Hopefully more tomorrow.

They didn’t say much in the car, and when they got to the hospital, Robert was quickly put into the system and started on several tests to make sure he could withstand chest and lung surgery. Also more x rays to have a look at where the bullet currently was. It barely gave Aaron or Robert any time to think about what was coming.

“You’re twitching,” Robert said sharply to Aaron when he was finally in his hospital room, waiting for the results.

“Sorry,” he grumbled. “Just nervous.”

“Well don’t be!” Robert shouted. Then felt terrible for shouting. He didn’t like being submitted to tests, trapped in a hospital and so completely out of control. It was making his temper much shorter than it should be. “Sorry,” he said. “I don’t like this, all these tests, being treated like a pin cushion.”

“I know you don’t,” Aaron said, not taking it personally. He reached for his hand and squeezed gently. Robert smiled at him, forced but there. They both moved at the same time, ending up kissing each other much more intimately than they really should be in a hospital.

“Oh, sorry.” They split apart, seeing Doctor Ashcroft come in, smiling.

“I’ve had a look at all your tests, and you’re in great shape,” he said. “We’ll keep you for observation overnight, but if nothing changes, we’ll get you in first thing in the morning.”

“How long will it take to recover?” Robert asked, remembering Vic’s question.

“Assuming no complications, we’ll have you here for a couple of days, then you can recover at home. Probably four weeks until you’re physically back to where you were,” the doctor said. “I’m not worried,” he added, smiling at Robert.

“Right, now you can go home,” Robert said to Aaron. “Seriously, you’re doing no one any good, cluttering up the place.”

“Charming,” Aaron said sarcastically, leaning over the bed and kissing him gently. “I’ll be here in the morning,” he whispered in between kisses.

“See you tomorrow,” Robert said, enjoying the deep kiss, even though the doctor was present, ticking things off on his clipboard. Aaron left and Robert sighed, knowing he wouldn’t sleep tonight. Sleeping in hospitals never seemed like a good idea. Didn’t know if you’d ever wake up.

* * *

 

Aaron slept poorly, and by about six the next morning, he gave up, showering and getting dressed before grabbing his car keys.

“You off then?” Chas asked from the kitchen, still in her dressing gown.

“Yeah, you’re up early,” he said.

“Kept hearing you tossing and turning,” Chas said, getting up and walking over to him. “He will be fine,” she said.

“Hope so,” Aaron replied. “I… if he doesn’t make it…”

“He’s Robert Sugden,” Chas said with a scowl. “He’s not going to die on an operating table.”

Aaron almost smiled at her confidence. Chas pulled him in for a hug, and Aaron closed his eyes, feeling the reassurance he needed in her arms. When he let her go, he swallowed against the lump in his throat.

“I’ll be at the hospital later,” Chas said.

“You can’t stand him,” Aaron said.

“I won’t be there for him, I’ll be there for you, you idiot,” Chas said warmly. Aaron smiled before leaving the house.

* * *

 

“Oh, it’s you,” Robert said, opening his eyes as Aaron came in.

“Missed you too,” Aaron said sarcastically. Though he had because the bed had been far too big with just him. How he’d slept alone comfortably for so long, he didn’t know.

“Thought you were one of the nurses,” Robert grumbled. “Can’t get any rest here. They keep coming in every five minutes.”

“Hi,” Aaron said, kissing him gently, enjoying the soft press of his lips. “Okay?”

“You know me,” Robert said, trying to bluster it off.

“I do know you,” Aaron said. “So you don’t have to hide it.”

“Fine, I’m scared,” Robert said shortly. “That do?”

“Yes,” Aaron said quietly. “I’m scared too.” They kissed for a while, needing the closeness until Aaron’s phone buzzed. “Liv,” he said, reading the message. “She says she’s just beaten your high score, so get your arse home as soon as you can. That’s clearly Liv for get well soon.”

“I guessed that,” Robert said, smiling at her. The door opened and an influx of people filled the room, checking machinery and filling out charts.

“We’re going to take you down to theatre now,” an impossibly young smiling nurse said.

“Already?” Robert asked, fear filling him. Pretend all he liked, he was frightened.

“Yep,” she said, her cheerful attitude already grating on Aaron.

“I’ll be with you when you wake up,” Aaron said calmly, his fingers entwining with Robert‘s, taking all the touch he could get, wanting to be as close to him as possible for these last few minutes. He needed to stay calm for Robert.

“If I wake up,” Robert said darkly.

“When,” Aaron said firmly. “You’re going to have a long, long, boring life, this isn’t the end.”

“Wouldn’t say boring,” Robert quipped.

“No, life with you in it is rarely boring,” Aaron said with a smile. “And I like it that way.” Aaron kissed him deeply, much more intimately than he’d ever done when people were watching them. Robert thoroughly enjoyed it, smiling when Aaron parted from him. It had distracted him for a few tiny moments.

“I’ll be in the waiting room,” Aaron said to no one in particular.

“I love you,” Robert said urgently when it became clear the orderly’s were going to move him imminently.

“I know,” Aaron said, still gripping his hand. “Just… wake up, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Robert said, squeezing his hand tightly before they let go. Aaron watched him leave, heart in his throat. God, he hoped he’d see Robert alive again.

* * *

 

The waiting room was very quiet, Aaron, Liv, Vic and Chas were all there, though it would be hours yet.

Aaron had his head bowed, resting on his hands when he heard footsteps stop in front of him. Looking up, he saw Diane and Andy. The rage pulsed inside him and he couldn't stop it.

“What’re you doing here?” Aaron growled.

“He is Robert’s brother,” Vic said blankly.

“Get out,” Aaron hissed. Diane and Vic were looking at him like he’d lost his mind, Chas was looking at him, wondering if he’d have to hold him back.

“Maybe I should go,” Andy said.

“Yeah, I think that’d be best,” Aaron almost snarled.

“He has as much right…” Diane started. Aaron cut her off.

“Really?” Aaron asked, getting up and ignoring the warning hand from Chas on his shoulder. “Trying to see if you finally get your wish? Making sure the bullet kills him? You‘d love it if you could finish the job off. Just go through to the operating room and unplug him, that‘ll help.”

“Andy, what’s he talking about?” Vic said, near to tears.

“You want to tell them?” Aaron sneered. The anger was helping him keep the fear and tears at bay.

“Aaron, this isn’t helping,” Chas said, trying to keep calm.

“It was me,” Andy said, admitting it. “I… arranged to have Robert shot.” Vic and Diane looked completely shocked.

“I asked him,” Vic said. “I asked Robert who shot him, when he was sorting out his will.”

“He what?” Aaron asked darkly, eyes focusing on Victoria in surprise. He hadn’t known that.

“Rob wouldn’t tell me,” Vic said quietly, almost marvelling at the revelation. “He didn’t want me to chose between you. He didn’t want me to hate you.”

“I…” Andy started.

“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry,” Aaron hissed at him. “It’s your fault he’s here. He could die, Andy! Now get out of here unless you want to end up in hospital as the patient.”

Andy took his advice, turning and walking away. “How long have you known?” Diane asked him when she could find her voice again.

“Just before Robert started getting symptoms,” Aaron said. “He didn’t want it brought up again, just wanted to forget it. He pretends it doesn’t effect him, that his brother planned his murder.” Vic flinched at the words, so black and white. “Sorry,” Aaron said in her direction. “Now what’s this about a will?”

“Just in case,” Victoria said. “Rob wanted someone to know. We’re not going to need it.”

“No,” Aaron said weakly. “Course not.”


	11. Wake Up Robert

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't planning to get this done so quickly, but I couldn't leave you wonderful readers or Aaron in suspense for too long! Enjoy, and thank you!

“Eat.”

“What?” Aaron asked, blinking himself out of his half a doze.

“Eat,” Chas repeated, giving him a bacon sandwich. “Robert won’t thank you for starving.”

“I can’t eat, I’m too worried to eat,” Aaron said. His imagination was running over time, picturing what was happening to Robert right now, chest open on the operating table. Aaron passed the sandwich to Liv who’d perked up at the smell of bacon, and she smiled at him in thanks. 

Vic walked over to Aaron, the only person who looked as worried as Aaron felt. Diane was being stoic, Liv was hiding her worry behind her cheeky façade, Chas had zero worry for Robert, but loads for Aaron. Vic looked near to tears.

“Hi,” she said, curling into Aaron’s arm, both of them enjoying the hug. “Why didn’t you tell me it was Andy?”

“You were convinced it was me,” Aaron said. “Remember, at the time?”

“Yeah, I do,” she said.

“No good could come of dragging it up again,” Aaron said. “Robert didn’t want to put you in the middle when it was unnecessary.”

“I know they’ve always been… tense,” Vic said. “But to plan Robert’s murder? I never thought he’d go that far.”

“I know better than most that Robert can push people right to the edge when he wants to,” Aaron said. “Not that I’m defending Andy, God, I’m not. When he was shot… I wanted to kill Robert, and at the same time, I‘d still have taken him back.”

“But you love him,” Vic said. Not a question.

“I do love him, even when I hate him.” Vic smiled, because that was a very accurate description of Robert. Aaron kept an arm around her until he started to feel self conscious.

“He asked me to keep an eye on you,” Vic said quietly.

“I thought he might,” Aaron said, guessing that Robert had done that. “He’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” Vic said. Both of them wanted to be surer than they were.

* * *

 

“I have to go,” Chas said. “I left Charity with the pub, and this is…”

“Taking a while, I know,” Aaron said. They’d known that lung surgery would take a few hours, but the waiting was grating on him. He supposed that was good. It meant he hadn’t died, and they were still working on him. “Take Liv with you.”

“What? No, I want to stay here,” she said. But she was both bored and tired, and they all knew it.

“Go home, Liv,” Aaron said. “I’ll call when he’s out of surgery. Promise.”

“Okay,” she said, giving Aaron a hug. “You better.”

“I will,” Aaron said, watching them both go. It left him with Vic and Diane, and no words. He checked the time on his phone, 3:32. He’d been under for six and a half hours now. He’d been warned it could be as long as eight to ten hours if there was complications. It was another ten minutes before a surgeon approached them.

“Robert’s out of theatre.”

“Alive?” Vic asked, Aaron finding his voice had temporarily vanished.

“Alive. Yes, he‘ll be waking up in an hour to ninety minutes,” the doctor said. “We removed the bullet with no complications. Quite straight forward actually. We’ve had to remove a tiny portion of his lung, but he should barely even notice it when he’s recovered.

“Can we see him?” Aaron asked quietly, feeling a desperate need to see he was okay with his own two eyes.

“Follow me.” The three of them did, being led to a private room. Robert lay on the bed, still and pale.

“Oh good,” Vic said, sounding relief. “Looks like he’s sleeping.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Aaron said before he could stop himself. Robert was a messy sleeper, limbs usually everywhere, unless he was curled against Aaron. Seeing him lying so straight on his back, head towards the ceiling looked wrong. Aaron sat down next to him, reaching for his hand out of instinct, needing to be touching him. He ran his thumb against his knuckles enjoying the sensation, wanting him to move. “He’ll be all right?” Aaron asked the doctor, eyes glued to Robert’s face.

“Should be,” he said. “We’ll do some tests when he wakes up, but so far it couldn’t have gone smoother.”

“Thank you,” Diane said as the doctor left. Victoria sat on Robert’s other side, the relief almost rolling off of her. Aaron wasn’t there yet though. Last time, he hadn’t woken up for weeks. But, last time he had a tube down his throat, this time he didn’t. Surely that was a good sign.

“Come on, Robert, wake up.”

* * *

 

The blackness was complete, accompanied by a throbbing pain in his chest, sharp with every beat of his heart. He felt dozy and completely out of it, and he longed to slip back into unconsciousness. Then he felt a hand in his, and Robert focused on it, trying to move past the pain. The hand was rough against his skin, the nails short as he squeezed, trying to feel more, instinctively knowing it was Aaron’s hand.

“Robert?” Aaron’s soft voice said, sinking through his mind. “Are you with me? Come on, Robert, open your eyes.” That felt like too much effort so he tried speaking instead.

“How’d it go?”

He heard the sigh of relief. “Oh, you’re awake. Thank God.”

“How did it go?” he repeated, knowing his own voice was very faint.

“Open your eyes,” Aaron asked, demanded.

“If this is heaven I want my money back,” Robert said, the pain in his chest exquisite.

“Yeah, like you’d make it into heaven,” Aaron teased, making Robert laugh, then groan as the pain went straight through him.

“Oh, don’t make me laugh. It hurts to laugh.”

“Aaron!” Victoria hissed, followed by a thump.

“Ow!” Robert did open his eyes at that. It took a few seconds for Aaron and Vic to come into focus. Apparently Vic had just hit Aaron round the back of the head.

“Did they get the bullet?” Robert asked.

“Yes,” Vic said, smiling at him. Robert sighed with relief, closing his eyes for a moment.

“Don’t you need a coffee or something?” Aaron asked Vic.

“What? No!”

“Vic,” Robert said, understanding the point Aaron was making. “Five minutes.” She reluctantly nodded, leaving the room. “Come here,” Robert said, unable to move much on his own. Aaron did, smiling into the kiss.

“You scared me,” Aaron murmured against his lips.

“I scared me too,” Robert said, kissing him again, a hand to his face.

“I love you,” Aaron said, making Robert’s lips twitch, both of them knowing he‘d been waiting for Robert to be awake to say it. “And don’t you ever, ever do that to me again.”

“I’ll do my best,” Robert said. “Get in bed.”

“What?” Aaron asked in surprise as Robert shifted up, grimacing at the pain of moving. “Hey, take it easy.”

“I want to hold you,” Robert breathed. “Please.”

“Five minutes,” Aaron said, wanting to hold Robert too. It was a tight fit, but Aaron rested his head on Robert’s shoulder, the left side, his good side, Robert smiling as he stroked his hair. Neither of them knew Vic was watching from the window, smiling at the pair of them.


	12. Unexpected

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the last chapter. Thank you so much for the Kudos, subscriptions and comments! They mean so much to me and really helped me get this done asap. This chapter is lovely and fluffy, and hopefully a good finish. Enjoy!

**Two days later**

Robert collapsed on the sofa, unable to remember feeling so weak. Even walking to the sofa from the car had been utterly exhausting. “God, I feel like I’ve aged fifty years in days,” Robert moaned, hating his body for being frail and not functioning the way he wanted it to.

“Is this the kind of moaning you’re going to do when you’re eighty then?” Aaron teased, without really thinking about the implications of his words.

“Will you put up with me for that long?” Robert asked, the joking mostly gone but his eyes light.

“Tea?” Aaron asked, not answering the question.

“Oh, you’re home,” Liv said as she came into the room, heading towards the fridge for a can of coke. “Glad you didn’t die.”

“That was heartfelt,” Robert said sarcastically. Aaron brought his tea over, just the way he liked, the smallest dash of milk and half a teaspoon of sugar, the mug was the one Liv had bought for him from Wales. For some reason that simple act had him feeling emotional. No one else had ever managed to make his tea exactly how he liked it, they’d never bothered to learn. Chrissie had just done it the way she liked hers, he hadn’t argued, it'd never been worth the fight and no one else had been around long enough.

“I’ve not poisoned it,” Aaron said, seeing Robert staring at the mug of tea. He put it down on the coffee table, too hot to drink as Aaron moved to the arm chair.

“Marry me,” Robert whispered, without having planned the words beforehand. Aaron’s eyes went wide with shock, Liv dropped her can of coke before rushing to the door, not bothering to pick it up. Vic was coming in, presumably to see her brother, but Liv got rid of her.

“Get out!” she shouted at Vic, forcibly pushing her, closing the door behind them, Vic looking completely shocked at this kind of treatment. 

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Vic shouted at Liv in the hall.

“Robert just proposed,” Liv rushed, pressing her ear to the closed door.

“What!” Vic shrieked. “What did Aaron say?”

“Shut up and find out,” Liv hissed at her. After a moments indecision, she copied Liv, ear to the door. But both men had eyes only for each other, barely giving their sisters any attention at all. Robert lay on the sofa, unable to move much and Aaron moved over to him, wanting to be closer, on his knees by the sofa so he could look directly into Robert‘s eyes, needing to know he was serious about this.

“Did I slip off into a daydream, or did you really just say…”

“You daydream about it then?” Robert asked. “That’s a good sign.” He shifted, trying to get closer to Aaron, memorising the way his eyelashes looked, the darting of his gorgeous blue eyes as he had no idea how to deal with the shock of what’d just happened. “Marry me, Aaron.”

“Why?” Aaron asked quietly, nervously. “Why’d you want me?” It broke Robert’s heart that Aaron always considered himself not good enough, not worthy of love, just not enough.

“I always want you,” Robert said. “I want you in my life for good. I want us to be a team, no more letting the bad stuff get in the way.”

“But…”

“I’ve only known you two years,” Robert said. “We’ve survived gunshots, an affair, my wife, as much pain as I could throw at you, your father, surgery, your tearaway sister, bribery, a spot of kidnapping here and there too. And we’re still here, together.”

“This is insane, you know that, right?” Aaron said, still unable to tear his eyes away from Robert‘s. He seemed so sure of himself right now, so in control. The Robert of old, knowing what he wanted and exactly how to get it. And it was that level of manipulation that frightened Aaron, stopped him from saying yes.

“I can’t bear the thought of being apart from you, Aaron,” Robert said honestly. “I want you, I love you, and I need you. So I’m asking you to marry me.”

“You’re only saying this because you had a close call,” Aaron said. “It‘s the relief of you being all right, getting the all clear,” Aaron added, attempting to get up away from the sofa and Robert‘s intensity. Robert grabbed his hand, not letting him leave, but it was the magnetising look in his eyes that made Aaron stay put. The heat from his palm was intoxicating too, and Aaron didn’t want to lose it.

“You can say no,” Robert said easily. He’d thought about marrying Aaron before, often, especially when sorting out his will, and had accepted that it might take more than one time to ask. “If you want. I’m not going anywhere. I‘ll wait. I told you once before, I‘ll wait for you. Until you’re ready.”

“You’ve just moved in, for God’s sake you’ve just had surgery!”

“Stop stalling!” They both looked towards the door, recognising Vic’s voice.

“You don’t have to answer now,” Robert said, eyes at the door. “We clearly have an audience.”

“We said slow,” Aaron reminded him. “That’s hardly slow.”

“Compared to some in this village, it’s practically glacial,” Robert said, making Aaron laugh. He couldn’t help it. Robert always could make him laugh when he wanted to.

“Robert, you, me and wedding rings don’t have a great history,” Aaron said, resting a hand on his face, needing to touch him. Robert smiled, more at the touch than the words. “You know that.”

“I wouldn’t cheat,” he said, wondering if that was what was bothering him. “I get all I need from you. I always did.”

“Oh, Robert, don’t do this to me,” Aaron said. “This isn’t fair.”

“What isn’t?” Robert asked. “Telling you how much you mean to me?”

“Robert, I love you,” Aaron said, the words still new enough to feel special, though he‘d felt them for more than a year now. “But I’m not sure about this. It’s too fast.”

“Okay,” Robert said easily. He pulled Aaron close, kissing him gently. “I can be very patient.”

“I think the night before your operation argues that,” Aaron said.

“God, they wouldn’t leave me alone for five minutes,” Robert cursed. “Injecting me, scanning me like little vultures who…” Aaron silenced him by putting a finger over his lips.

“You have to tell me when you kidnap annoying teenagers and warn me that the police might show up asking questions,” Aaron said. “I can’t be in the dark all the time, Robert.” Robert’s face broke into a wide grin.

“Answer my question.”

“What was that about waiting for me?” Aaron asked, frowning at him, but Robert could tell when it was fake, the lightness in his eyes was the giveaway.

“Aaron, please,” Robert said. “Indulge me and give me a proper answer.”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, a smile appearing on his face. “Yeah, I will.” Robert grinned back, kissing him deeply, moaning quietly whenever they had to draw back for air, which for Robert was more often then usual.

“This is mad,” Aaron whispered, still holding Robert close, hands cradling his face.

“I know,” Robert said easily. He kissed him again, neither of them paying any attention to the fact Liv and Vic were outside the door, smiling broadly to each other.


End file.
